Honoring Our Parents

Posted by Brance on April 3rd, 2005 filed in Relationships

Part 4 of the series "Relationships, God’s Way"

This week we are studying our relationship with our parents. I’d like to begin with a question. How many of us would like to be known as a fool, have things go badly for us in general, have ravens pluck out our eyes, and then die young? Sound lovely doesn’t it? On the other hand, how many of us would like to be wise, godly, safe, have things go well for us, and live a long life? These are the promises God has given us concerning our relationship with our parents.

When God promises us something, it’s significant. God keeps his promises. He IS truth. The Israelite people constantly disobeyed God and turned away from him time after time, yet he kept the promises he had made to them. So when God gives you a promise, you can take it to the bank.

Our main text for today will be:

Let’s start with the OT passage(s) being quoted here. This is the fifth commandment given in the Ten Commandments. It is the first one that has a promise attached to it. This command is echoed in Deut. 5.16. The commandment is for children to ‘honor’ their parents. Let’s look at what it means to honor our parents.

Webster defines honor this way:

• To regard or treat with esteem, or respect; to revere; to treat with deference and submission

The Hebrew word used literally means:

• regard as heavy

The meaning is that great importance must be ascribed to parents by their children.

The greek word used in Eph. means:

• fix a valuation upon; by implication, to revere: — honour, value.

So we are commanded to place great importance and value on our parents, and to submit to them. Or as Paul stated it in Eph. 6.1, ‘obey’ them.

The greek word here means:

• to hear under (as a subordinate), i.e. to listen attentively; by implication, to heed or conform to a command or authority

It literally means that we should obey our parents. Our parents main function, as God has given it to them in his Word - and in nature, is to protect and train their children. The Bible tells us in no uncertain terms that our parents’ commands are to be taken seriously because they are for our own good. Consider this passage from Proverbs.

That’s pretty strong. The Bible clearly teaches that our parents are in authority over us, and that we should place great value on their commands, instructions, and teaching.

Paul went on to say that we should obey ‘in the Lord’. This means that we should have a Christ-like attitude as we obey. What was Christ’s attitude towards authority?

In NT times Roman soldiers had the authority to press civilians into service to carry loads for them for a distance of one mile. Jesus was telling us that if an authority told us to do something, we should go above and beyond what was asked of us. If your parents tell you to clean your room, clean it and vacuum it. And while you have the vacuum out, vacuum the living room as well.

Paul tells us this about authorities:

Wow, this means that disobeying our parents is like disobeying God. But it also means that obeying our parents is like obeying God.

Paul tells us we should obey in this manner because ‘this is right". By ‘right’ he means:

• The straight course; adherence to duty; obedience to lawful authority, divine or human; freedom from guilt

So to sum up, we are to obey, respect, and place great value on, the commands of our parents. Even if your parents are not Christians you are to do this. There was no exception given for this commandment. Obviously if your parents (Christian or non) ask you to do something that is in direct opposition to God’s law, you must obey God first. But I would caution you to be sure that you use wisdom when faced with this decision. Make sure you understand God’s law, and that you understand what it is your parent is asking of you. If your parents are not Christians you should make extra sure that when obeying them, you do it in a Christ-like manner. This will be the best witness you have to them. Perhaps they will see, in you, the spirit of Christ and be brought to repentance and salvation because of your witness.

Now let’s take a look at the promises God has given us, in relation to this command.

Here Paul is quoting Deut. 5.16 and the word translated here as ‘go well’ means:

• make well, literally or figuratively; make cheerful, be comely, be content, diligent, happy, successful, and right

That’s quite a promise. I don’t know about you but I could use a little more cheerfulness, contentment, happiness, success, etc. in my life. And then the verse goes on to tell us that our life will be longer. This could be due to medical benefits of being happy and content. It could also, however, be a direct blessing from God. In Eph. 6.3 it says "long life", in the OT however it simply says "your days may be extended". I take this to mean that a person who faithfully honors their parents will live longer than they would have otherwise. It is not a promise that you will live to be a certain age. God has his own plan and his own timing. By the same token, to fully understand the promise that things will ‘go well with you’, we must understand the mind of God. This can mean prosperity, but it doesn’t have to. God’s work is not to make us rich. His definitions of ‘make well, comely, successful, and right’ have much more to do with the spirit and heart than with the outward things of this world. But here he did give us a promise that our life would be longer, and happier, if we honor and obey our parents.

There are other verses that tell what a person’s life would be like if they did not honor their parents. We don’t have time to get into that here, but trust me, it’s not pretty!

Biblical Example

Let’s take a look at an example from scripture of someone who honored and obeyed his parents and then saw the promise fulfilled in his life.

Isaac was born to his parents in their old age. You all know the story of Abraham being commanded by God to sacrifice Isaac. It is a story of great faith on Abraham’s part. The side of the story that is not often told is that according to Jewish tradition, and biblical timelines, Isaac was about 25 at the time. That would make Abraham 125. Do you believe that a man that old could have bound a 25 year old against his will? I don’t think so. I see this test as an extraordinary demonstration of Isaac’s own faith, and obedience to his father. There is no account of him resisting, or arguing in any way. He asks about the lamb. Abraham tells him God will provide. When they get there, they build the alter and then Isaac is on it. That is obedience and honor at it’s best. A few years later in his life Isaac allowed his father to arrange his marriage to a woman he had never met, once again honoring the advice and commands of his father. Did God bless him? You bet he did.

I’d say that things went pretty well for him. How about the part of the promise to ‘enjoy long life on the earth.’?

Isaac lived longer than any of the other patriarchs. He lived by God’s command to honor and obey his parents, and God keep his promise.

Parents

We do not have time, nor is it within the scope of our lesson to study all that scripture commands parents to do in regard to their children, but I would like to briefly look at the verse that immediately follows our main text.

The word exasperate is defined this way:

• to roughen, to make rough, or embittered.

This verse is not saying that if your parents make you mad, they are out of God’s will. It means they should not cause you to become rough natured or bitter about life. They are to train and instruct you in the things of God. The verses we looked at told us to obey, which means they must command and instruct. That is their God given task in regard to their children. They are to be our physical and spiritual authority. They are to instruct us and teach us to live our lives, and we are to obey. But more than obey, we are to treasure that instruction and recognize it’s value to our ultimate happiness.